


More Than You Know

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Challenge Response, Flirting, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-08
Updated: 2008-03-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Line Dancing : Just like the WORD : GAME, but using lines of dialogue in a fic] Next Line is “I've thought about this...us more times than you can imagine," his voice was tired, sad and raw with emotion matching the rest of him.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than You Know

 

No one bothered to shut or set the locking bolts of the front door.

Sex wasn't a purpose, but a _possibility_.

It was more important for the man to get his friend to bed, sleeping off the rest of the night. He let the body lop down, making sure when it bounced that it didn't fall off the bed. The drowsy friend actually landed splat on the mattress--the wrong way. His arms above his head and spread out, legs dangling down with feet planted flat on the floor.

The sober and conscious man bent to the floor and started the undressing ritual. This routine had been done a dozen or more times before, never ending well and always revealing something once kept hidden.

He didn't want to disturb the quiet slumber of his friend, so he undid the shoe laces, slipping the shoes off to place them on the floor. Next came the socks, but he didn't want to yank them off. He cupped the delicate, light heel in one palm and tugged the cotton fabric meticulously down, taking the time to feign sexual foreplay.

This was the _only_ time the man could make his fantasies seem _real_. Other than when he was alone in his own bed, masturbating to an exaggerated memory-- _ah-gain_. He pressed shaking lips to the slim ankle, brushing his nose over the short hairs on the calves as he removed the material of the sock to expose the beautiful bare foot. 

_Everything_ about his friend was beautiful, even down to his tiny pinky toe.

Setting down the second bare foot, the man stood above his silently dozing friend and worked the leather straps of the belt open, letting the ends flap out and away. He undid the pants, then lowered the zipper to reveal the tight white boxer briefs underneath. So tight they were that the man could detect the bulge of the semi-stiff organ. He licked dry lips, but continued his task.

While his friend was asleep and laying down, he thought about sliding the pants down, but for some reason he wanted him awake and upright. Maybe to find a few random, coherent moments out of this massively shitty night. But mostly to _finally_ pay him _some_ attention.

" _ **Hey! Come on!**_ " The man shook the arms gently, sliding down to grip the fingers and then yanking forward. " _ **W**_ _ **ake up!**_ _ **Le**_ _ **t's git you ready for bed!**_ "

" _... mmm... lemme sleep more..._ " The friend made it seem as if he had somehow lost his spine during the night out. He was only being dragged across the bed, not lifted upward. " _... ni_ _ii_ _c_ _cc_ _e..._ "

"It'll be even nicer when you're _not_ dressed an' you can--"

This time the friend bolted upright, a hand reaching out to touch the sweet face above him. " _ **No!**_ _ **Y**_ _ **ou!**_ " The hand missed a few times because the hazy eyes were very likely seeing double and unable to recognize faces. " _ **Me?!**_ " The man touched his own chest, smirking and shaking his head. " _ **No**_ _ **pe! N**_ _ **ot fuckin**_ _ **'**_ _ **likely!**_ "

As the man stood, hovering as he watched his friend, he certainly didn't feel like being "nice" in a half-state of undress. "... you have no idea how 'nice' I don't feel, right now." The words were muttered and never heard by his friend-- _which was a good thing_.

" _doyaloveme_ _?_ "

Between being drunk out of his mind and bone-weary, the vocabulary of the friend was beyond decipherable.

The man startled back an inch, unsure he had heard correctly. "Whut?" In these quieter, solitary moments, he craved the truth to be revealed, but not when it was being asked in a minor state of incoherency.

" _ **He**_ _ **\--**_ " A hand was fluttered in mid-air, gesturing to _someone_ _\--_ _anyone_ \--in the distance. Maybe even someone who wasn't in the room at the moment. " _hesayshelovesme_ _-_ _allth_ _a_ _time_."

"Well, _**he**_ would." The man pinched his lips together in frustration. Even when the exact name wasn't uttered, there was still an annoyed frustration. " _ **Me**_? I don't have that luxury."

The head wobbled when it tried to shake. " _I_ _d_ _on'believe_ _'_ _im._ "

"Then don't. That's your right."

" _hehurtsmeeverytime._ "

The man crossed his arms over his chest, feeling as if this was something he had seen, heard or done before. "Yup. I _know_." He reached out again for his friend's hands. This time he was going to try to get him to stand on his feet. "But you don't help yourself by _always_ coming back, thinking things'll change. Trust me--they _never_ will. C'mon, up-n-attem, an' then you can sleep.” He finally got his friend to stand, the pants lowering on their own to his knees. He set his friend back down on the mattress and worked the pant legs off. 

The man was bent low to the floor to draw the material down the short limbs. His friend was sitting upright--somewhat drooping with arms loosely at his sides.

" _I's_ _-_ _serious._ " A hand came out to touch skin, hair or clothing--whatever the finger could clutch in a sturdy grasp.

"Huh?" The man twisted to face his friend fully.

" _youloveme_." Now the gentle eyes were begging even though there was no specific inflection to the voice.

The man slowly dropped to his knees, hands on either side of his friend's hips as he clasped the mattress edge. "Are you _askin_ ' or _tellin_ ' me?"

The brow furrowed in curiosity and fear. " _w_ _hy?whyyouloveme?_ " The words were slurred together as the tongue began to feel heavy and thick and the inside of the mouth went dry.

"Well, for one, I like your company." The man reached out to caress the face of his friend, watching lashes lower to flushed skin. "Even when you're half-passed out and drunk out of your mind." He hadn't even seen _that_ much alcohol consumed in the length of time they had been at the bar and club tonight.

" _I_ _-_ _like_ _-_ _y'urcom'anytoo._ " A hand came out to pat a shoulder, clamping down hard for balance or deep affection. It was difficult to tell. " _loveyou_ _._ "

The man couldn't take _this_. Not right now. "Don't--" He wasn't going to shove his friend off his body, but he would attempt to create a safe distance. A protective boundary to bolt when his heart started to shatter.

" _ **meanit!**_ " The hand brought heads closer, foreheads meshing.

"I _know_ you do." The man's voice went soft, tender--like the faithful lover he had always wanted to be for his friend. "You tell me every single damn time." He innocently placed a kiss on the cheek, wishing he could do more. "And especially after a hellish night with _**him**_." He knew if he threw anger and frustration the mix those feelings might sway the sexual ones trying to take over.

" _buthelovesme_ _._ "

And that was the crux.

If the man didn't agree with his friend would that expose his own true feelings? 

"I wasn't saying he didn't."

" _ **I**_ _ **-**_ _ **love**_ _ **'**_ _ **im!**_ " The statement was proclaimed as if it needed to be reiterated.

"Good. I'm glad." The man was getting tired of the run-around with words. "I'm sure it makes your heart break even better."

Misty eyes looked into the man's face. " _am-_ _I_ _-_ _sexy?_ " There was a bit of shyness mixed in with the curiosity. He took a moment to look down at himself.

"Uh..."

" _you_ _loveme_ _-_ _doyoufin'medesir'bl'_ _-_ _attrac-tive?_ " The question wasn't asked without a few tiny hiccups.

"Uhm..." The man didn't know how to answer. He didn't want to answer for fear of starting something that wasn't going to end well for him.

" _wanna_ _\--_ " The head dipped close, brushing noses. " _youwannakissme?_ "

"No." The man forced out the word against open lips approaching him.

" _you_ _do_ _._ " Hands came out to cup both sides of the man's head under his ears and along his neck. " _youwantme_ _-_ _always._ " Hands drew the man's body closer as he fell back onto the bed. " _youwannafuckme._ "

The man was hovering above his friend, knees on either side of the frame. "Well, not _right_ now." That was an outright lie.

"why not?" The forehead wrinkled in befuddlement as the mind began to clear of its self-imposed fog.

"If I fu--if we ever fuc--" The man couldn't even formulate the words to pass over his tongue. He had been close many, _many_ times before--in this very position. " _ **Christ!**_ " He rubbed a hand over his face. "Like _that_ would even be _remotely_ possible."

"... I thought 'bout it..." 

"Whut?" That was impossible.

"... you--an' me..."

"Why? 'cuz I'm better than being alone?"

"... no, 'cuz I love you..."

The man nearly choked once he heard the words wrenched from the man's throat. "... no--no, you don't..." He wanted to crawl off this bed and hide very far away.

" _Do!_ "

"Liar."

"... kiss me an' fin' out..."

"No! I'm not--" The man struggled for a bit with his friend, but then was tugged down roughly. Lips arching upward to soundly press against his own mouth. The passion and emotions behind the action created a euphoria inside him to the prospect of this moment actually being totally real. “ _o_ _h, gawd..._ " He leaned his brow on his friend's hair, silently admonishing himself for not bringing a condom or grabbing one.

"... off now--undress..." Lips kissed down the neck and along the bare shoulders. Hands were cupping and rubbing the back of the head, then dropped to help work the pants undone. Hips began to undulate, body wanting fulfillment of deep, dark desires.

The man groaned with severe want. "I've thought about this--us--more times than you can imagine." His voice was tired, sad and raw with emotion matching the rest of him.

"... I want you..."

"I've wanted you too. For years." The man couldn't believe this was happening, after such a long time.

"... I need you..."

" _ **Oh god, yes!**_ I need you too... _a_ _lways_..." He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled the fabric over his head, mussing his hair.

"... I love you..."

"I love you too. Forever, feels like. I--" The man had never heard such sweeter words in his ears.

The body lay down on the bed, wide open and vulnerable as the arms stretched out in waiting. "… I'm ready, Brian... take me... make me yours..."

The man went stiff--and _not_ in a good way.

The front door slammed shut, the sounds of locks turning.

" _ **Teddy?!? Where are you?!?**_ " Emmett's voice spoke loudly from the main room of the apartment he shared with Michael. " _ **I hope you're not molesting Michael again!!!**_ "

Michael giggled, then let out a heavy sign of contentment. He seemed to be lost somewhere in his imagination with Brian.

Ted stared down at Michael, simply dressed in t-shirt and tight briefs. That lovely hard-on gone limp while he had turned hard as stone. " _u_ _hm..._ _ **I'll be out in a minute!**_ " He yelled back, smoothing his hair down, zipping up and doing his leather belt. He put his shirt back on, leaving the material untucked.

" _ **I found a pint of mint chocolate chip screamin' our names!! Bowls or carton?!**_ "

" _u_ _h..._ ” Ted scratched his thumbnail across his perspiring forehead, right at his receding hairline. “ _ **...**_ _ **I'll have a bowl!**_ " He managed to wake Michael up long enough to take off the t-shirt, then quietly set him back into the proper position on the full-sized mattress. Ted even tucked Michael under the layers of linens. As long as he heard the noises in the kitchen, he knew he was safe from Emmett's watchful eye.

Once Michael settled his head on the preferred pillow, he tucked both hands under his cheek. Ted was startled to notice the wet marks marring the pale skin.

"... _o_ _h michael_..." Ted wanted to be miffed and angry--something other than the aching love he had felt burning in his heart. He combed through the inky black waves and curls. He bent low and kept his lips near the available ear. “... _**someone**_ _will_ _ **always**_ _love you_..."

Michael squeezed his eyes, making more tears fall. "... you're too good to me, teddy." He reached out to take the hand petting him, kissing the skin.

Ted felt his own tears surface. They were like two peas in a pod, both just as invisible as the other to the men they loved. "... I know..."

"... don' deserve you."

"Yes... yes, you do."

"... you're a good frien'."

"Yeah, my only downfall. You're a good one too. Even to Brian."

Watery dark brown eyes looked up into similar watery brown ones. Fingers came out to lightly caress down the cheek. "... love you."

 _That_ _\--_ that right there—never failed to make Ted crumble, wanting to sob like a newborn. "Me too." He bent forward to press a tender kiss to Michael's forehead. "... me too, michael..." He would forgive Michael anything and reluctantly permit him to keep breaking his heart while Brian cruelly shattered his--eerily comfortable in the knowledge that Michael would always know what utter heartache felt like.

Didn't take long for Michael to go out like a light. Ted watched every second of the peaceful slumber, then he quietly got up and exited the bedroom, pretending to be the same old jovial, witty Ted Schmidt to the public eye all while dying of loneliness in the dark inner recesses within.

 

**~*~THE END**


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